It’s been a rough week. There have been quite a few lows and not a lot of highs it has to be said. Looking back at the last few days, it makes me think that we have enough to deal with right now without the stresses of day to day life getting in the way. I don’t want to think about work, overdrafts, broken radiators, car services, and even worse, washing and ironing. It’s all too much at the minute. I even went to work in an un-ironed shirt the other day and I just didn’t care. That is not like me at all.
Just when I thought it couldn’t get any worse though, the snow came. We live at some altitude in a place called Stanley where the normal rules of weather don’t apply. It’s like the Twilight Zone of weather up here. The wind blows harder, and the snow falls relentlessly thicker. To make things worse, we live at the bottom of a big hill. I can’t believe how stupid I was to allow this to happen. I basically made the same mistake as my parents. My Mother always warned me, “Don’t ever live at the bottom of a hill”. Did I listen? Did I heck! Not only did we move to the bottom of a big hill, it’s also at the bottom of a big hill that’s practically touching the sky! I’m surprised we don’t get altitude sickness up here, It’s just ridiculous. On the plus side, the house was cheap back in 2004. Not that it matters right now of course as we are always at the wrong end of our overdraft, and we barely make it to pay day without the threat of bank charges. Welcome to the recession eh!
As if that is not bad enough, the house is now completely unfit for purpose for us in nearly every way imaginable. It is small and inappropriate, and we are completely cut off from any family who could help us with the boys on a daily basis. Never was this more apparent when that horrible white stuff fell from the sky on Wednesday. I was at work, and Louise had to go and pickup George from school. No one could help her with this, and no one could look after Olly. There was no way she could drive up the hill in these conditions, so she had to walk. It’s not that far, but it’s difficult getting there on foot in such conditions, and this is without taking Olly’s autism into account. It’s impossible to walk him anywhere, as he either walks in the wrong direction, or runs toward danger. So he has to be in his pushchair. Without going into the gruesome details of this expedition too much, it rapidly turned into a nightmare for poor Louise. She got to the school OK, but on the way back, the heavens opened, and she now had George to take care of as well as Olly in a pushchair that could barely be pushed. I was beside myself with worry and contacted our next door neighbour who very kindly went to intercept her and help. She eventually made it home, but was deeply affected by the experience and in a state of shock. It didn’t help that it took me three hours to get home that night on a journey that normally takes twenty minutes. I even ended up abandoning my car and walking the last quarter of the journey. It was absolutely ridiculous.
So it was a very unpleasant experience, and the worst part of it all is that even worse weather is forecast for next week. I really don’t know how we are going to cope with it again if it happens? It really did serve as a reminder to me that we have been through so much in the last few months though with Olly’s diagnosis. We have done so well as a family, and I think we have all adapted to it in our own way and made our own individual progress. Olly especially of course, and he has made real progress with his PECs this week for example.
There is so much to think about and deal with on this journey on a day to day basis though. Appointments, PECs, Portage, Intensive Interaction, and so much more. We also have to remember that George needs us just as much as Olly does too, all the while trying to fit in family and friends and the like. It’s not easy, and the day to day rubbish that takes over and clutters up your life is most unwelcome right now it has to be said. I feel like our attention is being divided among trivialities when it needs to be focused on what’s important.
Sadly, there is no answer to this however. The mortgage still has to be paid, the house still needs to be cleaned, George still has to go to school, and I still have to go to work. I know I must sound ungrateful to some, and I appreciate that. I have a lot to be grateful for compared to many I have no doubt, but you can only assess your life on your own terms and definitions, and for me right now, I feel like I am wasting a lot of important moments dealing with the clutter and background noise of life. Maybe I have to realise that it’s still early days for us all in this journey, and with any luck it will get a little easier and make a little more sense as time progresses. I certainly hope so, but I guess all we can do is wait and see.